现代男女享受柏拉图式恋爱关系

导语：这是《环球时报》英文版的一篇文章，其中有些采访我的内容。（潘鸣）

友情英文翻译：贾祎

Males and females are happy being in platonic relationships

现代男女享受柏拉图式恋爱关系

By Zhang Yihua Source:Global Times Published: 2016/10/18 18:38:39

作者：Zhang Yihua ：转载自环球时报 2016/10/18 18:38:39 

Some men and women are happy just being good friends. Experts say, it is risky for best friends to turn into couples.

部分男女对于男女之间只作为朋友相处的状态感到满足。专家指出，对于要好的朋友来说要转做情侣是十分冒险的。 

Charlotte Song, a 24-year-old human resource specialist in Beijing, was bored when she overheard some of her colleagues gossiping about why Yang Zi, 24, a Chinese actress, and Zhang Yishan, 24, a Chinese actor, had not become lovers after being very good friends since they were teenagers. "Really, such a fuss," she said.

宋女士，24岁，一位来自北京的人力资源专家，表示她对于同事们八卦：24岁的中国影星杨紫和同样24岁的中国影星张一山，这一对青梅竹马为何还未成为恋人，感到十分厌烦。

A sequel to Home With Kids, a 2005 hit drama that Yang and Zhang co-starred in when they were 13 years old, is beginning production and a lot of people are discussing the relationship between the two stars.

家有儿女，2005年大热的电视剧，由13岁的杨紫和张一山主演，今年再度开机。许多人在讨论他们二人目前的感情现状。

Song does not understand why so many people think there must be something romantic going on between two friends of the opposite sex and that it would be unbelievable if they do not turn into lovers.

宋女士不理解为何许多人认为异性朋友之间一定会存在暧昧关系，如果异性朋友最终不能转变为情侣是不可置信的事情。

She and her male friend Jack Zhang have been best friends for more than 10 years. "We never tried to be lovers and are still happy together." 

她与她的异性朋友张先生已是超过10年的挚友。“我们从未试图变成恋人关系，我们以朋友状态相处十分开心。”

According to her, from university, they each began to date. Most of the time, she has her boyfriend and Zhang has his girlfriend. There were times when they were both single, but even then, they were still best friends.

据她描述，从大学时代开始，他们就各自有男女朋友。大部分时候，她有她的男朋友，张先生也有他的女朋友。有些时候他们两人都是单身状态，但就算那个时期，他们也仍然处于好朋友状态。

However, she conceded that she once had the thought that it might be nice for them to become lovers. 

但是，她也承认她曾经动念头觉得他们成为恋人可能也挺好的。

"After all, we know each other well. He can tell what I'm thinking just from my eyes and I can tell from his," she said. "But I was afraid that if we did become lovers but broke up, I would lose my best friend at the same time."

“毕竟，我们对彼此非常了解。我们能仅从彼此的眼神中就知道对方的想法，”她说道。“但我害怕一旦我们成为恋人并且分手了，我会同时失去我最好的朋友。”

Besides this, she did not make her move because she did not have the feeling of falling in love when they were together. "When we hang out together, my heart does not beat as fast as it did as when I dated my exes," she said. "I guess, maybe we are more like family to each other."

除此之外，她并未朝恋人的方向发展是因为她和王先生在一起时并未有恋爱的感觉。“我们一起出去的时候，我的心并不像我和前任男友约会时那样跳的厉害，”她说到。“我想，我们可能对彼此来说更像是家人。”

There have been many debates on the Internet concerning whether there is pure friendship between men and women, but opinions are divided.

在网上有许多关于男女之间是否存在纯粹友谊的争论，但观点是大相径庭的。

According to Pan Ming, a psychologist and founder of Yiming Psychological Counseling Center based in Qingdao, Shandong Province, no pure friendship exists between men and women from a biological standpoint. He said, even if there is, it may be temporary and tends to evolve into a romantic relationship.

潘鸣，是来自青岛的一位心理咨询专家，也是一鸣心理咨询中心的创建人。他认为从生物学角度来说男女之间不存在纯粹的友谊。他说道，即使真的存在，也只是暂时性的并且仍会朝暧昧关系方向发展。

However, he added, from an ethical perspective, if the two parties cherish their friendship and do not surrender themselves to emotional impulses, it is likely that the pure friendship can be maintained.

但是，他补充道，但从道德角度来说，如果男女双方珍惜彼此的友谊，并且不向内在的感情冲动所屈服，那么纯粹的友谊关系还是可以被维持的。

Pan said although best friends turning into couples has an advantage as they have had a good understanding of each other, which is the basis of a stable relationship or marriage, it is at the same time risky.

潘说道，由从朋友转变而来的情侣是很有优势的，因为双方对于彼此已经有着良好的了解，这对于一段稳定的感情或是婚姻来说是基石，但同时也存在着潜在危机。

According to him, a romantic relationship is harder to sustain than friendship. "The two parties need to prepare themselves for any possible twists and turns. Also, they will have different expectations for each other as they turn into a couple, and if they are not fully prepared for the challenges, they can easily feel disappointed."

他认为，恋爱关系相对于友谊来说更难维持。“双方需要为恋爱关系中可能出现的跌宕起伏做好心理准备。同时，由于转变成为情侣双方对于对方的期许会出现改变，如果双方没有准备好应对这些挑战，那么他们很容易就会感到失望。”

Song feels relieved that she did not try to turn her friendship into a romance because she knew she was not ready for being anything other than a best friend.

She conceded that if she rushed into it, she might feel very disappointed if he ever fails to meet her expectation for a good boyfriend, and she may lose him for good if things go wrong. 

宋女士感到庆幸她没有试图将友谊转变为恋爱，因为她知道她自己对于除了朋友外其他身份并未做好心理准备。她坦言如果她急于走入恋爱关系，如果对方没有达到她对于一个好的男朋友的期许，她会感到非常失望，并且如果关系出现问题她将永远的失去对方。

"Now, as best friends, we are always happy together because we do not fight about failing to live up to the other's standard for a good boyfriend or girlfriend," said Song. "I think we are better off just being good friends."

“目前，作为好朋友，我们在一起时永远都是开心的，因为我们不必为了对方没有达到自己心中对于好男友或好女友的期许而争执，”宋女士说道。“我认为我们处于朋友关系对于彼此是最好的选择。”

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